My Big Fat Guilty Pleasure: Cobra Starship

In which I reveal the most embarrassing tracks found on my iPod.

As many of you may I have read, I saw Cobra Starship’s show at the Opera House in November. I didn’t like it very much. In fact, I thought it was downright shit – all style, no substance. I stand by my assessment.

But in preparation for the gig I downloaded their two records and put them on my iPod, so by the time the show rolled around I would be somewhat familiar with their work. My summation of the show pretty much applied to both records as well so after I’d finished writing the review, I deleted them to make room for something, uhhhhh good. Except I kept getting two of their songs stuck in my head – “Snakes on a Plane” and “Send My Love to the Dancefloor, I’ll See You in Hell” to be exact. Something about those two tracks… I can’t stop listening to them. In fact I even listened to them today in between the Bouncing Souls and Kid Dynamite (I was feeling quite punk rawk this morning as I headed downtown to a temping job interview on Bay Street).

Here’s the thing. I know they’re bad. I would never defend them. The songs are just so unbelievably ridiculous – I can’t believe they even exist. There’s something about the way The Sounds‘ Maja Ivarrson sings “Oh, I’m ready for it…” that just kills me, and then Gabe Saporta bursts in with that big chorus “So kiss me goodbye!” And the whole thing is actually about their being snakes on the muthafuckin’ plane. Then there’s that J-Lo line in “Send My Love to the Dance Floor” – WTF?

Both songs are like these gangsta-punk dancefloor bangers, except they’re a complete joke and everybody’s in on it. I walk down the street listening to these with my chest puffed out and a giant, shit eating grin on my face. I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM. But I must…

“Snakes on a Plane”

“Send My Love to the Dance Floor, I’ll See You in Hell”